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Tuesday, January 24, 2017

A Breakdown of My Recent Meltdown

Meltdowns are painful, terrifying and embarrassing. I had one recently and thought I would break down what happened and how it worked to what it became.

These episodes happen when my information or stimulation input becomes so intensely overwhelming that I am completely unable to function or interact with anyone. Again, they are painful, scary, isolating, and sometimes dangerous. But, they are not something I do intentionally, or for attention. I hate them as much as you do. I just wish some people would make an effort to understand it.

2 days prior

  • My child wet the bed. 
  • I was not heard when expressing an issue
  • I was told something that invalidated one of my serious issues.
The Day Before
  • My child threw several loud fits during the day
  • I went shopping and had a lot of new input
  • My child cried for two hours over pain in his teeth
The Day Of

  • I overslept and did not keep my routine
  • I didn't manage to eat early
  • Didn't get my chore done, and could not get the energy to do it.
  • Live-in person verbally triggered guilt over the unfinished chore
  • An argument
  • And then the meltdown
Here are the symptoms displayed leading up to the explosive episode, that must be noted.

Two Days Prior
  • Mild stress communicated
  • Less physically functional
  • Increase in irritability.
The Day Before
  • More difficulty functioning
  • Somewhat more irritable
  • Distant from everyone
The Day Of
- before the "Rumblings" really started -
  • Depressed behavior (bedlock, sullenness, tiredness, distraction)
  • Lack of interest in group activities
  • Mild frustration with environment.
- during the rumblings - 
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Vocal agitation
  • Difficulty staying on task
- when the alarm behaviors started - 
  • Hands held close to my person, twitching.
  • Pacing around the house
  • Angry vocalizing
  • Defensive behavior
- During the actual meltdown -
  • Yelling
  • Crying
  • Escaping
  • Demanding
  • Hardcore stimming (rocking, touching my arms, pulling my hair)
  • Seriously aggressive behavior
  • Repetitive language
  • Showy aggressive activity
This is what happened and how I got to the Meltdown level in my Autism.

Peace, Love, and Bulletproof Marshmallows
Mandey T

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