I hate losing sleep. Last night I didn't finally pass out until around 4 in the morning. Nothing is worse than that, at least not in my book, because I take care of my son in the mornings now. My mother - his adoptive mom - volunteers at a food pantry every morning from about 8 to around noon. Believe me, I love this part of my life. When the state took my son from me at just 3 months old, I thought that days like what I have now would never be reality.
But I am exhausted and depressed today. My alarm went off at 8:15, as usual, and I went back to sleep for a few. Then my mother woke me to take the boy from her. After that, coffee was poured - and yes, I know, caffeine agitates Autism - and food was had. Now, the boy is playing happily with his toys and I am writing a blog post and watching "Me Before You" and loving it.
Truth be told, I am exceedingly blessed by a child who is normally quiet and self-contained. He's 3, so he does require some looking after, but usually he can be counted on to play and enjoy himself. It really is a blessing. I just wish I had better energy to be able to play the way that he deserves to be playing.
In the end, I am tired, I am depressed - but, I am eternally blessed.
Peace, Love, and Bulletproof Marshmallows