Sunday, January 22, 2017
This is Not Laziness
So here are the things that are really happening when my loved ones see something else.
1. When I don't get out of bed before noon,.
The thing that is happening here is fatigue. My body feels so heavy, tired and sore that moving around is incredibly difficult - almost akin to swimming in quicksand.
2. When I am "argumentative" or "defiant".
You have to understand something here: I have a mental illness. Being constantly exhausted and incredibly sore from absolutely nothing tends to make me - or most people - more irritable and irresponsive. I don't mean to be this way, and I certainly do not enjoy it. Sometimes, too much interaction with others just overwhelms me and leaves me too exhausted for functionality.
3. When I am unwilling to do all of the chores asked of me.
I would absolutely love to get up and do the basic chores, they aren't literally hard - I know this. It's just that I get locked into my exhaustion and the day runs out of hours before I can get the motivation I need. There's nothing about me that is self motivated and those accusations really hurt.
4. When I don't want to go out.
More than anything in the world, I want to go with you. The thought of being with my family, enjoying the festivity of your adventures - is a dream. It's just that I do not have the physical, nor the emotional energy to do this.
In summation, please stop making my struggle - my symptoms - into something that they are not. It doesn't help anyone, and it gets us nowhere. Actually, it does more harm to my recovery thank it will ever do good. It only causes me to recede further into my depression; constantly doubting the legitimacy of my symptoms, and applying your logic to my very real illness. The only ending for this is worsening symptoms. So, please, just stop, seriously.
Peace, Love, and Bulletproof Marshmallows